FamilyTies

  I can’t tell you how much I love, how beautiful of an escape it is for me, to walk the trails my ancestors have left for me. To research them is to research myself and truly learn more about who I am. Their stories have informed my own and I love to see these connections. I wish I had more to write about in this interim, but I’m excited to slowly explore people and subject. I know the first few weeks I dropped a lot of info, but I’d collected that information years ago. Now I’m collecting new information and forming new ideas, so it’s going to take a little longer. I hope you’ll forgive the long pauses between posts, but I promise to try to make it worth the wait. I have someone new to introduce to you today. I hadn’t known he’d existed till a few years ago, and I decided to delve into who he was and his story. Aaron Bradshaw Goodwill is my 3x great grandfather and he’d enlisted in the Civil War and died while in service. I hadn’t thought to look into his regiment or his activiti...

  My brother is probably one of my best friends. He understands me in a way that few people do, can irritate me quicker than anyone but also is a comfort in his way. We always know how to make each other laugh and have more inside jokes than we know what to do with. We have some fantastic examples in our lives of siblings who are always there for each other in my parents’ siblings. I think it’s probably a rare thing to grow up close to all your aunts and uncles and cousins the way we got to. My dad has one sister and we were always up at her house spending time with her and my cousin. My mom has 4 sisters and a brother and they’re ALWAYS talking to each other - it’s a wild group chat.  There's a long history in our family of close siblings, on both sides of the family. Even if they lived far apart, there are stories of support and generosity between them. Our grandfather had a ton of siblings, our grandmothers each had one brother, and our other grandfather has one sister. All...

  Divorce isn’t an easy thing to face in the best of times, no matter the circumstances.  While I’m doing research on my family I have found many couples that have split, and none of them were easy or painless. One such split was a mystery to me, as it was always spoken of in hushed tones and laced with generations of bitterness. Of course I wasn’t present for the marriage and its subsequent dissolution, but I’d like to give a little detail and insight to one such moment in the family. James and Alice Montgomery were my 2x great grandparents. I had never really known much about either person until I’d begun digging a little. All I’d heard was that James had abandoned his family after his son had died, leaving Alice alone, in and out of institutions for years. Which painted a picture of a villain and the wilting helpless victim. I definitely had Alice’s number wrong. And I think humanizing James would help the family heal, so let’s dive in a bit. James, or JB as he was known la...

  One of my favorite things about starting this blog is that my Nana has called me three different times in 2 weeks, my uncle called me to say how much he’s enjoying all the stories, and even my dad has texted about it. And he doesn’t do the texting so much. I’m so glad they’re enjoying the stories - which I admittedly get very geeky about. And hopefully you’re enjoying them, too. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here in the first place, putting eyes on this lil blog of mine. I have another story for you today. On one of my phone calls from the Nana, she asked me about her great uncle. She couldn’t remember his name but told me who he was. I looked him up while I was on the phone with her, and said his name, which she said YES that’s him. She told me he’d gone to Harvard and had lived overseas in Sweden, she’d thought. So I went ahead and did some digging on the guy to see what we could find. I found him really interesting, so I’d like to introduce you to my 3x great uncle, Harris Eastman...

  It’s a rare thing that I’ll do a spotlight on an ancestor that I’ve actually met. Today is one of those days. I was 10 years old when my great grandfather passed and I remember meeting him several times. It was always a treat when he and my great grandmother would come to Tennessee to visit. We all enjoyed them so much. I remember them both being so good at telling stories - and I know grandpa in particular was known for spinning his yarns and was intelligent and well-spoken.  Larimore Karns Montgomery, or Grandpa Montgomery, as we called him, was born in 1903 to JB and Alice Montgomery, who had just married the previous year. As a young child he suffered many illnesses which stunted his growth and deeply impacted his home life. His baby brother died when Larry was 14, and his parents divorced soon after. His mother spiraled into depression and they were soon living with his grandparents on their farm close by. At 26, in 1930, he was living on his own working as an insurance...

Christmas tends to be a very stressful time of year for me. I always had magical Christmases, and they always seemed so effortlessly pulled off. My family always made sure the magic clung to the holidays like cinnamon on a snickerdoodle. This past Christmas was particularly stressful as there were some changes in the family that I needed to process and new added stresses I had to learn to manage. So the day before New Years Eve I decided to visit Hollywood Cemetery by myself. It was misting a freezing rain, and I wasn’t really dressed to sit outside, but I needed the bite of the cold and I needed the respite for my brain. I remember telling my husband my plan and grabbing my journal and pen so I could jot down thoughts as they came while I sat in peace on the hill. As I pulled out of the driveway to leave, one of my favorite singer-songwriters played on my Spotify, Ray LaMontagne. It was the song “Be Here Now”, and I felt all the stress melt away and leave my body. I hadn’t heard the s...

  Now. No one panic. I’m not a necromancer. At least, not in the magical way. Lemme ‘splain. I live near Richmond, Virginia and it’s a very historically significant place in the South, and in the US in general. It’s been the home to many famous people, some of them presidents. I have sad news though. They’re almost all dead. And if they were a president and/or famous they were probably buried at Hollywood Cemetery in Oregon Hill, a Richmond neighborhood. Hollywood Cemetery was first opened up for use in 1847 from land donated to Richmond by William Byrd, for whom Byrd park is named. It has a vast, rolling, gothic landscape and the western side overlooks the river. At the top of the hill, overlooking the river, is my favorite spot to sit. I like to sit and enjoy the view, but I also love being amongst the graves. Let me tell you why. Some people, when they come to a cemetery or graveyard (burial ground attached to a church), they go as a matter of remembrance. If it’s just to look a...

This blog kicks off a mini series as an ode to my favorite place to go think. My thinking place. I hope you enjoy my little blurbs about it, and I can't wait to introduce you to it. It's my peaceful place, my muse, my little escape. And I think it's time I truly embraced what a weirdo I am. Because aren't we all? Sleepers' Hill The glittering river Wet and wild Storms past the sleepers' hill, Their stories alive Though their bodies are dead But vessels for souls. They bask in the river's peace, Crescendo as she rages, Whisper when the summer heat dries up her banks. In the full moon, they dance In the shadow of the holly. In the rain they lay soft In their beds in the earth.  The city looms East Unaware they still speak On the hill Where sleepers sleep.

  I have 2 crafty grandmothers. My Gramma Jean, who passed in 2001 could sew, knit, crochet and could probably embroider. I would watch my Nana crochet and knit with the skill and speed of a professional fiber artist. When I was very small, they each took me under their wing and taught me what they knew about what I was interested in learning. They had learned from their own mothers and they joyfully taught me skills I still use to this day. And let me say, these two weren’t in competition with each other, nothing was bitter. It’s always been loving and supportive on both sides. They knew and respected each other, and they each knew/know how special they are to my brother and I. I don’t think that’s something a lot of people can say. And I’m full of gratitude for both of them. Not only did they each teach me - but I have something from each of them. I can’t recall whether it was a birthday or Christmas, but when I was six I finally got the afghan my Nana had been working on for mon...

  There is a theory among scientists that we are a collection of memories, lessons, trauma, maybe even talent stored deep in our DNA, called genetic memory. It's something I’d like to examine in my own experience in researching my family and is already something I see in my parents and my kids. In my family there are many different ways I could see this play out, from the dark things like alcoholism, to a love for the Smoky Mountains, to hobbies like wood working and music.  Above is a picture of the barbershop my great-grandfather worked in. His name was Hoyt Calvin Martin, but he went by Turk. I have no idea where that nickname came from, and I don’t think anyone else knows either. This exact photo was displayed in the Etowah Depot, which is a historic building in Etowah, Tennessee. I’m not sure it’s displayed there any more, but we would stop and admire it whenever we’d go to the 4th of July celebration Etowah would put on from the Depot every year. My Dad tells a story of ...

**TW: Infant Loss** I’m currently working from an in-between stage of this blog. I don’t yet have my big project, but I was so excited I started writing about it immediately. I have another couple  months before all of that information is in my hands. I talked to my Nana yesterday and told her I couldn’t wait to get started on this, that I was salivating. She said I shouldn’t do that, but that she was happy I was excited. Again…ya girl is extra.  So in the interim, I’ve decided to explore thoughts, ideas, and feelings about everything I’m learning. There are of course people I’m going to relate more to than others - like my relatives who were domestically inclined and active with their kids vs. the American Vice Consulate to Arabia. Of course I’m going to relate to the stay-at-home mom more than the well-traveled (and my imagination *sings* that the man had a mustache…he HAD to, right??) well-connected 3x great uncle. Among the themes and feelings I’ve felt I’ve needed to spea...

  My Nana called me after I’d written a piece about one of her ancestors to say how much she’d liked it, which of course meant the world. And in the meantime between now and when mom and dad bring the family tree up, she gave me a couple of missing people to find. She told me that her grandfather had an affair while married to her grandmother, who was beloved to my Nana, and her grandmother subsequently divorced him. We knew that the mistress had come to her grandfather, telling him she was pregnant and that the child was his. And we knew the child’s name. Other than that, she had no information and had always wondered what had happened to her. I went back to ye olde family tree and searched for this grandfather’s name. I found it. And I found his divorce record, his death record…as well has his marriage record to this mistress. I plugged in the name we’d had and found the missing daughter and all her half-siblings. My grandfather had married his mistress and spent the last three y...

  My Dad’s side of the family is full of gear heads and at least one truck driver. I grew up going to car shows, hearing about radiators and drum brakes and engines. I couldn’t really tell you one thing from the other, but I know enough to keep up with a conversation. I didn’t realize how many pictures I have of relatives posing with their cars till I started this research and really dug into all the archives of pictures. If you know what some of these cars are, please do tell! I don’t have my Grampaw on-hand to tell me, and I bet he knows every last one of them. Nana & Uncle Quinn Buying a car was a massive investment and a sign of social status, rather than the over-priced necessity it is today. We still use them as symbols of class and status, but in the brands rather than just the fact that we have one.  Grampaw Hoyt (HD) Every time my hubs has a day off, he does exactly what Grampaw is doing here, washing his car. I have very distinct memories of my dad washing his...

  Dear Gramma, On my birthday this year I’ll be 37. That’s the same age Mom was when we lost you. It’s been a whole 21 years since I last saw you. A fact that feels simultaneously so very correct and wrong. Wasn’t it just last week that I visited, relaxed on your porch, drank coffee with you, and told you about the last book I read? Or was that in my dreams? How is your presence so near and far, so familiar and alien, your input long-gone and still currently offered steadily, quietly and lovingly? I’m a Mom now, too. Your great grandkids are amazing people to observe. They’re creative, lively and funny. I think of you often when I play Raffi for them, bake muffins with them, and tell people the funny things they say. Oh, how you’d love them and revel in their bright energy!  To my everlasting shame, the only plant I’ve managed to not kill is a very hardy little rosemary. I’m beginning to realize that even under your careful instruction, I’m not sure I would have learne...