The House Divided

 Divorce isn’t an easy thing to face in the best of times, no matter the circumstances.  While I’m doing research on my family I have found many couples that have split, and none of them were easy or painless. One such split was a mystery to me, as it was always spoken of in hushed tones and laced with generations of bitterness. Of course I wasn’t present for the marriage and its subsequent dissolution, but I’d like to give a little detail and insight to one such moment in the family.

James and Alice Montgomery were my 2x great grandparents. I had never really known much about either person until I’d begun digging a little. All I’d heard was that James had abandoned his family after his son had died, leaving Alice alone, in and out of institutions for years. Which painted a picture of a villain and the wilting helpless victim. I definitely had Alice’s number wrong. And I think humanizing James would help the family heal, so let’s dive in a bit.

James, or JB as he was known later in life, married Alice in 1902, Just a year later my great grandfather was born. He was very sick in his younger life with polio, among other things. His brother was born 5 years later, Johnny. JB worked as a farmer and as a trouble-shooter for McCormick steam tractors. For a while they lived in Canada, which was where Gordon was born and later passed in 1917. Uncle Dave had said he thought they’d lived with Natives in Canada while they were there. After Gordon had passed they split. 

Alice went back to Wolf Creek, PA to live with her parents, taking the boys with her. They were about 13 and 8 respectively. JB gave Grampa a choice - he said he could go with him or stay with Alice. Grandpa chose to stay, I imagine to help out, but also out of solidarity for his mother. They didn’t really have much contact after the divorce. JB had someone working for him who knew Grampa and would keep him updated on his life and how he was doing. After Alice passed, JB and Grampa would write to each other. When Alice was to be buried, JB had a plot for her in Youngstown, OH, where he was located and wished to be buried with her. She’d either refused or was exhumed and moved back to PA and buried with Gordon, as they'd had his ashes moved back from Canada as well. JB retired to East Liverpool, OH where he was an ordained Methodist preacher. He passed away in 1967 at the ripe old age of 94. 

I was right in thinking that Alice suffered from depression, but wrong in thinking her a wilting victim. If you know anything about Edwardian psychology practices, you know they were barbaric. She underwent shock treatment for her depression, and was institutionalized several times. Grandpa even caught her in an “unaliving” attempt in her later years, which breaks my heart on so many levels. But alongside great grief and sadness can coexist a vivid and active life. She lived with Uncle Johnny for a long time, who had a trucking business. She wrote many editorials for the local paper, posting her opinion as anti-prohibition. She eventually had her own place and would rent rooms out to tenants. She once wrote an advert for a tennant for her front room, but they would have to share a bathroom with her. In the ad she insisted that they had to use their own toilet paper. It made such an impression that her ad made it into Reader’s Digest magazine. Her tennants would even come to Christmas dinner some years. The doctor had once told her to have a tablespoon of whiskey before meals. So she would have a tablespoon of whiskey…from three or four bottles at a time. Uncle Dave even said that later in life she even got along with JB's second wife, Ida.  As she got older she ended up moving in with Grampa and Grandma Montgomery, before passing away of pneumonia at the age of 87. 

From everything I’ve learned about these two, they were just two humans whose lives intersected closely for a while and then didn’t. They each lived full productive lives and were surrounded by love and vitality. Even though their lives’ lights have long since dimmed, I wouldn’t exist without them coming together, even for as short a time as they did. I feel grateful for their existence and their time together, just as I am equally heartbroken for the grief that tore them apart. This is not to minimize the trauma caused by their separation, but to reconcile myself with it and hopefully bring the family alongside me in healing.

To JB and Alice: Thank you both for this amazing family, and I’m sorry you went through so much. I know you both have peace now and are resting easy, watching over us all.